I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
