overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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