my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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