Small penises have feelings too.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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