Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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