i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
