she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
