I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
