Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
