Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
