I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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