is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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