This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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