Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
MIDGETS
????
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
