Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
