i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
