Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
