this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its not stalking. its research.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
