Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
