Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

he wants to bone in the snuggie

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(434): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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(815): View more from Illinois

we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now

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(917): View more from New York City

so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

(1-917): View more from New York City

you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(631): View more from New York

ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night

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(619): View more from California

yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

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(816): View more from Missouri

Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.

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