is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
