she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
