but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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