yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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