apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize