After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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