I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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