thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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