I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you win again, gameday.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
