just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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