i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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