i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
