you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
