There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
