i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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