i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
