Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
