you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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