Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
