I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
