history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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