I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
