No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize