I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
