I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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