Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
