Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
