Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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