I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
