Non-Jews are for practice
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
