Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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