I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
