whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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