Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
