i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize