sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's get the cat blown out
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
