wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize