so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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